The season is approaching (but not quickly enough), so that means it’s NBA preview time. Starting with the league’s worst team and working our way to the top, we’ll preview one team per day.

Why so serious?

Toronto Raptors

Last year’s record: 40-42
Head Coach:Jay Triano
Projected Starters:Jose Calderon, DeMar DeRozan, Linas Kleiza, Andrea Bargnani, Amir Johnson

Outlook:

Having no clear-cut best player can either be great or miserable. In the Raptors’ case, I promise, it’s a very bad sign. The Raptors will go as far as Linas Kleiza, Leandro Barbosa, DeMar DeRozan and Andrea Bargnani take them. In other words, they’ll be in the lottery with room to spare.

X-Factor:

(*Looks down roster.*  Marcus Banks? Hah. David Anderson? Definitely not. Solomon Alabi? Who? Ahh, Linas Kleiza.)

Kleiza can score, we know that. He became an inside-outside duel threat in Europe, we hear. And though he is nowhere near equipped to be a go-to guy on an NBA team, Kleiza might be the Raptors’ closest thing to it. Sucks to be a Raptors fan, huh?

Biggest Question Mark:

Can DeMar DeRozan take a big step forward? The Raptors don’t just need DeRozan to improve: they need him to become a star overnight. While the Raptors spent the summer stripping down their roster and beginning a rebuilding process, DeRozan spent his impressing. He averaged 20.6 points in only 23.0 minutes per game at the Las Vegas summer league, then lit up LA’s legendary Drew League for 46 loud points. It’s probably too much to expect DeRozan to seize the go-to role, but the Raptors could really use it.

Most important newcomer:

Kleiza. But since I’ve already talked about him, let’s discuss Leandro Barbosa. Barbosa, as weird as it seems considering he wasn’t even a starter in Phoenix, is Toronto’s most accomplished player. He’s also coming off a down year in which his averages fell across the board. Is Barbosa still the Brazilian Blur, or was last season’s decline the start of a trend?

Key loss:

I’ll give you one hint: he’s not Patrick O’Bryant. Another hint: he’s in Miami trying to piggyback his way to a few titles. One last hint: he didn’t exactly make friends on his way out of Toronto.

Most compelling storyline:

I thought that no team could possibly be softer than the Raptors were last season. Then they traded for Leandro Barbosa, signed Amir Johnson and drafted Ed Davis. Now, I’m pretty sure this year’s version is even softer. Just call them Charmin.

Player to watch:

Andrea Bargnani. The Italian posted some pretty impressive stats: 17.2 points and 6.2 rebounds per game last year. But it’s the way he compiles said stats that’s disturbing. Play with some heart, Andrea. Stop somebody from scoring. Box out. Throw your body around. Get tough. Otherwise, your Raptors are really going to suck.

Descriptive movie quote:

“Slowly, a sound started to build in Lard-ass’ stomach. A strange and scary sound, like a log truck coming at you at a hundred miles-an-hour. Suddenly, Lard-ass opened his mouth, and before Bill Travis knew it he was covered with five pies worth of used blueberries. The women in the audience screamed. Bossman Bob Cormier took one look at Bill Travis and barfed on Principal Wiggins, who barfed on the lumberjack that was sitting next to him. Mayor Grundy barfed on his wife’s tits. But when the smell hit the crowd, that’s when Lard-ass’ plan really started to work. Girlfriends barfed on boyfriends. Kids barfed on their parents. A fat lady barfed in her purse. The Donnelley twins barfed on each other, and the Women’s Auxiliary barfed all over the Benevolent Order of Antelopes. And Lard-ass just sat back and enjoyed what he’d created — a complete and total barf-o-rama!” – Gordie, Stand By Me

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2010-2011 Toronto Raptors: a complete and total barf-o-rama.

Projected Record: 15-67. I know I said I was going to start at the bottom and work my way up, but somehow my drafted rankings left out the Raptors. I may be the first, but I won’t be the only one who tries to forget about them this season.

Well that’s kind of embarrassing. Want to know what else is embarrassing? That I’m so late posting this video. This happened two days ago. Clearly, I’ve got to step my blogging up a notch or two or three.

Anyway, Iggy is keeping a diary for the Philadelphia Daily news and had this to say about the game against Brazil: “I had a job, which was to make it tough on [Leandro] Barbosa to score and he had to pull out his best moves to score in the second half.” I’m sure that was your job, Iggy. But on the play above, you didn’t exactly fulfill your duties.

But Durant’s not the only person getting at Bosh. Raptors GM Bryan Colangelo also went at Bosh hard. (Real GM via Toronto’s FAN 590)

“We tried in vain to put pieces around Chris. Different pieces, different styles. It didn’t work out,” Colangelo said of building a roster around his former cornerstone.

“No matter what type of player we brought in, it didn’t seem to have the right mix with him as that centerpiece.”

Sounds a lot like sour apples to me. Yeah, Colangelo tried a lot of different things, but I’d have to note that Jose Calderon isn’t exactly a premier second-banana. It’s not like the “different pieces, different styles” Toronto surrounded Bosh with were studs.

But Colangelo wasn’t done. In his mind, not only was Bosh incapable of being a centerpiece, he was also as soft as Ray Allen’s touch. He should have played those final six games last season, damn it!

“Despite limited swelling and any excessive damage on an MRI, he felt like he needed to sit for six more games … I’m not even questioning Chris’ injury. I’m telling you he was cleared to play subject to tolerance on his part, and the tolerance just apparently wasn’t there and he chose not to play,” Colangelo continued.

“The fact that our season was spiraling downward and we were hoping he’d come back sooner and we were also dealing with a few other things at that point … we were really struggling there.”

Colangelo didn’t stop there.

“Whether he was mentally checked out or just wasn’t quite into it down the stretch, he wasn’t the same guy. I think everybody saw that, but no one wanted to acknowledge it,” he continued.

“At the same time, I never felt we were quite in the game (in terms of signing Bosh to a new contract). There was too much out there, too much built up for him to take an easy out here, and he decided to do that.”

Zing. But it doesn’t matter that people are throwing haymakers at him left and right, because Chris Bosh is the luckiest guy in the world. He hit the free agent market at the perfect time to piggyback his way to a few titles.

Tattoos!

Matt Barnes is back to considering five teams, a day after he accepted Toronto’s phantom two-year, $10 million offer that simply didn’t work under the CBA.

Five teams remain in the running to sign free-agent swingman Matt Barnes, according to sources with knowledge of Barnes’ thinking.

Toronto is still one of those teams, sources told ESPN.com, despite the collapse of a sign-and-trade deal with Orlando that Barnes thought would be completed by now.

One source close to process said early Wednesday that Barnes continues to weigh interest from the Raptors along with the Cleveland Cavaliers and three title contenders he has been negotiating with since last week: the Miami Heat, Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers.

Of those teams, the Cavaliers can offer the most money with the Raptors second (although they can’t offer him nearly as much as they already tried to). The Lakers can offer more money than any other title contender, but the Celtics can probably give Barnes more playing time. The Heat, meanwhile, would be selling the prospect of playing alongside LeWade, but with Mike Miller already backing up the SuperFriends, Barnes probably wouldn’t get much opportunity to play.

If Cleveland doesn’t blow Barnes’ socks off with an offer, I’d be willing to bet he signs with one of the title contenders. And if he opts for playing time instead of money, the Celtics could be his choice. I am starting to think Barnes to the Celtics might happen after all, even though I might be completely, miserably wrong.

P.S. – The Matt Barnes watch is driving me insane. He’s not even close to being good enough to warrant this much attention. But when the other names being tossed around are Ime Udoka and Larry Hughes, Barnes is – by default – the cream of the crop.

White women.

Matt Barnes was all set to be a Toronto Raptor. Now, he might never get that chance.

Tweeting, “Nxt season I will b playing for the Toronto Raptors. I wanted to thank the fans in orl you guys were amazing the way u guys excepted,” Barnes was ready to get paid for the first time in his NBA career. Two years, $10 million for the expected deal, which would have been finalized after Toronto completed a sign-and-trade with Orlando.

Would have been finalized, ya know, except those talks hit a snag and – depending on who you ask – might have completely fallen through. Marc Stein (ESPN) believed talks would continue today, despite the problems the trade faced yesterday, but Adrian Wojnarowski (Yahoo!) reported that the talks are completely dead. Here’s what Stein had to say:

Veteran swingman Matt Barnes, one of the most coveted free agents left on the open market, announced Monday night that he is headed to the Toronto Raptors.

But the limited sign-and-trade options available to Orlando — Barnes’ last team — could scuttle the deal, according to sources close to the situation.

Under the impression that he would be receiving a two-year contract in the $10 million range, Barnes thanked Magic fans via his Twitter feed and said that he’ll be “playing for the Toronto Raptors” next season.

Sources told ESPN.com that the teams will resume discussions Tuesday, as planned all along, with the intent of landing Barnes with the Raptors via sign-and-trade.

Yet no such deal could be assured as of midnight, raising the possibility that Barnes would have to accept new terms to sign with the Raptors or that other teams that have been chasing Barnes will get another shot at him if the deal collapses.

A little while after ESPN reported that the teams would resume sign-and-trade discussions today, Wojnarowski tweeted, “For Matt Barnes-to-Toronto, a league source says, ‘The sign and trade (scenario) is dead.’ Blamed on a ‘miscalculation’ somewhere in talks.”

Even if the trade talks ARE dead, does this open Barnes back up to the market? I don’t know. Maybe he’ll still feel loyalty to Toronto and sign for a lesser deal. Or maybe Barnes will end up back as a free agent. If so Cleveland reportedly offered him the most money besides Toronto, while Miami, LA, Dallas and Boston can all offer a shot at contending.

Who knows? Maybe Barnes will even end up a Celtic. But I wouldn’t bet your life on it. Actually, I wouldn’t even bet a couple bucks.

This video speaks for itself. Amir Johnson has been told he looks like Andre 3000 (and certainly does), so he decides to pretend he really is. My favorite part is when he’s dancing in the street: Imagine what you would think of a 7-footer wearing cut-off sweats, dancing with no undershirt beneath his skin-tight jacket — glorious, oh so glorious.

(h/t J.E. Skeets)